When it's Time to SLOW DOWN
Weekends consist of an endless cycle of feeding, diaper-changing, and now thanks to the ever-growing skills of my six-month old, playtime. Playtime is great. Playtime is fascinating when you’re learning new things every day. The colors, sounds, and shapes of all of the toys provide endless entertainment. Oh, and let’s not forget that we are learning about our legs. We don’t know how to use them yet, but we’re now aware of them and eager to put them to work!
Avery is a lot like me. She’s busy, on-the-go, constantly moving from one thing to the next. If she’s not putting something new into her hands within a 5 to 10 minute window, you’re going to be alerted through a series of whines and shrieks until she gets what she wants. (And I love her for this, ok?!)
The great (and also convicting) part of having a child that is in essence, a smaller, less mature version of yourself, is that you get to see pieces of you in a new light. And then, every once in a while God decides to comment on it… don’t you love that?
Today, we were going about our usual business, moving, shrieking, playing, laughing. More and more, Avery resists napping and if she does go down, it’s not for more than 2 hours. As we move from morning to around noon, I started to see the normal signs that it’s time for a nap. Avery is rubbing her eyes, and getting a little less patient by the minute. Every time I try to get her to calm down by holding her with her paci, she resists. So instead of forcing her to go down for a nap, I wait and let her do what she wants to do: play. She gets more and more fussy, until it’s time to have a bottle. I decided to swaddle her and get her ready for a nap while the bottle is warming up, and I kid you not, as I’m lifting her up to grab her bottle and carry her to bed, her eyes are rolling to the back of her head. She is OUT COLD. Before I even made it to the hallway. Before she even had a taste of her milk.
She had pushed herself so hard, too hard, that when she finally got even a second of downtime, she crashed.
And even though I’m still laughing at the fact that she just couldn’t hang, it was such a picture of my reality lately - and God made sure I was aware of it.
I’ve just come out of a busy season. From work, to home, to family, etc.. everything has been hectic. What God has shown me through this silly story of Avery, is that there will always be opportunity for chaos. There are boundless distractions and obstacles that can keep me from having a healthy balance and focus. I feel like I’ve tried to commit to everything that’s come my way, because I’ve wanted to grow in community, grow as a person, and grow in my relationship with God. But, I’m realizing that God has other things in mind. Through the craziness of trying to do everything, it became clear that:
There are things in life that I need to choose to prioritize.
There are things I have to let go.
There are times to focus on work, and there are times where I have to give myself a break.
There are a times where I have to do what’s best for ME, even though it may disappoint others.
All of these reflect God’s voice in different situations that have come up. There are things I want to do and wish I could make happen, but in this time and season of life, God is asking me to follow HIS direction, because my way is unsustainable. My way is going to burn me out and leave me empty, but God’s way is going to lead me to rest and an abundance of LIFE.
So what does that mean? Well, it means that I’m learning to say “no” to a lot more than I used to. I’ve been through lonely seasons before, but I don’t think that’s what this is. I feel like right now in life, my job is to be intentional. After all, the time I have is so limited; why would I be careless with what I do with it?
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Are there things you feel like you’ve been trying so desperately to hang on to, but maybe God is asking you to let go? If there are, you’re not alone. God’s been working on me and asking me to give up a lot lately. And as I have, I’ve felt a lot of peace to release those things to him.
I encourage you to lay those things down and trust God. Trust that He knows what’s best for you. Maybe once you do, you’ll finally feel the pressure and chaos ease up a little.
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“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to Me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with Me and work with Me— watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with Me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
(Matthew 11:28-30 MSG)